Quit Pornography Addiction by Transparency
By Floyd Godfrey, LPC, CSAT
If you’ve been wrestling with porn then you might also be wrestling with shame. I’m talking about a toxic shame that weakens your confidence. This shame decreases your sense of self-esteem. It will eventually destroy your inner peace. This shame speaks out and says you’re bad and must do everything well. Over time it will twist your mistakes into a sense of identity.
If this toxic shame increases, it will become increasingly difficult to share feelings and emotions with those around you. Your secrets increase. You develop a growing double life. Your struggle leads you into emotional isolation. It feels safe to stay hidden. Emotions become trapped inside your chest. Why? You tell yourself: “If anyone honestly knew who I was (and my secrets)… they wouldn’t like me. I have a hard time loving myself at times.” This is finally the message that toxic shame creates inside your mind and sinks into your heart.
Due to this addiction phenomenon, everyone who creates a long lasting recovery pattern always moves into “transparency” behaviors. By definition you become a more transparent person – opening up the embarrassing inner world. Opening up means disclosing slips, but more importantly disclosing your inner emotions, thoughts and feelings. It might be a painful experience for some addicts to open up. You may need to find “safe” individuals you can trust to start the process. However, transparency is a critical component of lasting recovery. In sixteen years as a therapist, I’ve never seen anyone do well without developing this ability.
I recall a gentleman who enrolled into our LifeSTAR program for pornography addiction in Mesa, AZ. He was confident that some individual counseling would provide sufficient support, and he could get back to his status quo in a few weeks. But upon learning what recovery entails, he discovered that his daily routine would never be the same. He would be required to learn transparency as a way of living. This aspect of himself would need to be part of his daily way of interacting with the world. Quitting pornography addiction with transparency is a recovery piece that cannot be missed. If this is not developed, an addict is only sober rather than living recovery.
Even though possibly difficult to do, transparent living is essential. You must find support organizations and loving friends who can hear your transparency and provide encouragement; friends and family who can walk with you without judging you. Ultimately, your personality changes and you learn to live in ways that foster sobriety and healthy living.
Stop attempting to fix this on your own. If you need help overcoming pornography addiction in Mesa, AZ please call us for a free 15-minute consultation with a therapist who specializes in these issues: (480) 668-8301.